"Dear Asshole", how I totally wish I could have started off the letter. But don't worry, I didn't. Actually, who really cares if I did start it off that way? I mean, he was a complete asshole. But let me back up for any of you who may have NO idea what the heck I am talking about. In my previous blog post, I talked about how I received my endometriosis diagnosis. How basically every doctor I went to , turned me away telling me I was healthy and nothing was wrong. And while they all pissed me off telling me that, it wasn't until this particular doctor where I just lost it. The way he belittled me in front of my husband was unacceptable. How he sat there telling me that all though endometriosis ran in my family, there was still NO way I had it also. That surgery would be worthless and I should see a therapist to fix whatever it was going on in my head. So when a doctor finally agreed to perform surgery on me and DID indeed find endometriosis, I felt impelled to shoot him an email, explaining my frustration and his poor judgement as a doctor. I wrote probably about 10 different versions before I finally sent it. I didn't want to say too much, but I wanted to make sure I got my point across. I didn't want to seem too rude but also didn't want to seem like I wasn't upset. So here was the final result:
My name is Kimberli . I came to you a few months ago for an appointment in hopes you could help me. I was having pain and other symptoms that I knew were not normal. And was being turned away by every gyno I went to. I came to you telling you my story, sharing my symptoms, history, procedures I had done. I talked about how my family was concerned maybe it was endometriosis, because it runs in the family and my symptoms matched up. You asked me questions about my symptoms, did a quick exam, called my husband in, and basically (in a somewhat polite way) told me I was healthy and should go to my therapist because none of my symptoms matched up to endometriosis. You too, turned me away, making believe none of my symptoms existed. That they were in my head. That waking up in the middle of the night (every night) with hot flashes so bad I wanted to rip my clothes off, was normal. I wont lie. I left your office very angry. You did not help me. You, just like all the other doctors, put it in a nice way that I was crazy and depressed.
Well I am writing you today to let you know that Monday March 27th I had laparoscopy surgery done. I DO indeed HAVE endometriosis. The burned some off my uterus, and had to untangle my bowels, they were stuck. I am on week two of recovery since surgery, and will be going back next week for post op to figure out further treatment.
I am not writing this letter to you to belittle you (all though I sort of felt belittled by the things you said to me). I am writing this in hopes I can prevent this from happening to another patient that comes to you, just like I had, looking for help. When something is wrong with a woman's body, she knows it. Just because it cannot be seen by the naked eye, does not mean it doesn't exist. Please keep my story in mind next time someone comes to you questioning themselves about possibly having endometriosis.
It was a week until he finally answered and in his response never apologized. Instead he tried to back himself up that he would have definitely helped me. My blood boiled and it took everything in me from messaging him back, this time with a rude email. I sat there re reading it a few times and finally deleted it. I wasn't going to get anywhere with him but I had said my piece and that was really all that mattered. Right? A few years later, I received an email saying they were going out of business. It made me wonder how many other women had had this same experience also, with him in particular.
If you had a bad experience with a doctor would you send him a letter telling him or her how you felt? Never be ashamed of speaking your mind. Letting your voice be heard. Women's health is just as important as anything else in this world. And it is time that doctors and others started to realize that.